“安静了”

今天下午，我去陪公公聊天。一如既往的，公公总是会在最后时刻问我关于Princess的问题，好像“Princess还有打电话给我吗？”，“我们之间怎样了？”。。。。。。

虽然我已经向他解释了很多次，我跟Princess只是朋友而已，但他总是会一而再，再而三地问我类似的问题。哈哈，公公，我知道你关心我啦！谢啦。原本以为我已经放下了，因为我打从上个星期开始便渐渐放下了，心里开始不这么对Princess牵肠挂肚（偶尔还是会）。我整整用了两个月来放下，不过一切也都是短暂的！因为公公问起我Princess时，我的心里又再度“酸”了一下！很显然，我不完全地放下！

回到家，看《超级乐坛全接触》，我听见一首来自SHE的“安静了”。我听着，哼着，看着歌词，顿时发觉这首歌挺有意思的。部分的歌词甚至跟我现时的心情与处境一样，可以说像是为我特别写的！

自从上个星期四过后，我就再也见不到Princess（有一次是在星期二的study room，可是不是正面的），甚至没有跟她聊天过！唉，这些日子里，我很没有心情，也很落寞！严格来说，应该是没有Princess的日子里，我异常地寂寞！

目无尊长

今天是我第一次教补习，原本以为挺轻松的嘛，怎知，却反被一群中一的小鬼给修理了一顿！

一进课室，学生们简直就当我透明！继续他们的话儿！岂有此理！我忽然用Marker Pen在桌子上敲了两下！他们才吓一跳，安静下来！可是，好景不常，正当我要上课时，他们又吵了！气死我！

其实，他们这么吵，我可以ignore他们的，可是又过不了自己良心这一关！真是矛盾！我开始破口大骂他们，尤其是男生！我问他们来这里的目的是什么？他们是得给钱的呀！现在经济不景气，知道钱难赚吗？他们一一地把话给顶回来！Kanasai！什么态度？不会尊师重道吗？还是看我年轻，欺负我？亦或者，以为我不会教？开玩笑，我虽然对geography不感兴趣，也不至于不会教吧！况且，我的geography可是拿A的呢！如果我把我的SPM成绩告诉你们，肯定会吓你们一大跳！不过，我没有这么做，因为有麝自然香，何必当风立。

我自认已经尽了我最大的努力去教他们，可是为什么他们还是不明白呢？我也已经很长气地重复又重复，可是他们还是不明白！是我的表达能力有问题吗？我有问他们哪里不明白，好让他们给我feedback，这样方算是effective communication，同时也可以对症下药！不过，我却收到一句极之难顶的话--“我有问题，但我下个星期才问”！

Okay,我不介意你这么讲！不过，你这样做只会让我觉得很自卑！我好像是白拿薪水似的！我也觉得我好像是耽误你们的时间！失败，真失败！这是我人生中最大的失败！他们根本就没有专心听，当我无道！难道年纪轻轻，就没有资格当你们的老师吗？况且，我只是义务代课而已呀！

除掉这些反面的因素，其实也有正面的讯息的。就好像坐在前两排的女生就很专注！我很欣赏。虽然她们的天资不够，但她们胜在她们肯读，肯用功！我记得在教Pola Saliran时，还被他们批我的图画难看！哈哈，这个我承认！毕竟我的Seni是拿C的呀！画图是我最不拿手的科目了！

下课后，我的“岳母”打电话来问我教到怎样？我就一五一十地把我吐血的经过告诉她。她说是这样的啦，现在的同学总是喜欢爬上头来的！若他们是我的孩子，这只会是“太岁头上动土”，我会好好地教训他们,很庆幸的，他们不是，我只好ignore他们，尽完自己的本分就好了！但是，我觉得很惭愧！我好像是辜负了“岳母”的期望，也白拿了薪水，浪费了学生的光阴！

不过，这是一个很好的经验，也令我体会到以前老师们的痛楚。但是，我要在这边郑重声明，我的年代的学生并没有现在的这般吐血！我从这个失败中得到的教训还有一把破桑的声音!是的，我没有声音了！基本上，我是喊着教书的！真是一代不如一代！

A Shit Day

Haiz, today was a black and unfortunate day to me. I even don't know how to describe how "black" I was today!

Today, I felt extremely tired and no mood! Today was my turn to drive, as I was arriving my college, I searched for parking lot. What a coincidence, I found a lot which was just straight front of the A gate. I felt happy with that and decided to park my car there! After the second attempt, I was disgusted and frustrated, I became impatient! During the third attempt, OMG! I crashed my car! As I was trying to do the side parking, I noticed that I couldn't fit my car in the lot, so I wanted to leave and find another lot. Unfortunately, I accidentally press accelerate paddle instead of the brake paddle! Shit!!! I crashed my car. There were a few scratches on my right both front and back doors!

Thing became bad as there were a number of colleagues who parked their motorcycles and a guard saw this incident! What should I do? I didn't know, I drove as fast as possible to the back of my college! I parked there! Luckily, the witnesses didn't find me! I was worried! I felt sorry to the car owner! If he or she manages to find me, I am willing to compensate him or her!

Walao, I am one of the "God of Car" among my friends and side parking isn't a difficult thing to me! It is as easy as ABC! However, why I failed this time? After the lunch, I slept at study room since I was very sleepy! Yup, I was truly sleepy! After sleeping lately and waking up early in the morning for two days, I was very tired! Imagine, after the half-an-hour sleep at study room, I still felt sleepy and tired. Even after I saw my beloved Princess going back as I wanted to head to lecture hall! Wow, normally, Princess is my energy boost! I will feel better whenever I see her! However, it doesn't work this time!