Let Go

Yesterday, I got the opportunity to have a lecture with my Princess. This was the first time for this semester! I really looked forward to it. However, I kept reminding myself that I shouldn't take this matter seriously! Yep, I tried to do it.

I thought I managed to do it but it became a reverie when my Princess got into the lecture hall. I couldn't control myself not to look at her! I noticed that her hair is truly long already. Frankly speaking, I prefer her to have last semester hair style than this one. However, it is nothing to me as it is her preference. I can't stop her to do that! No matter what she does, as long as it is legal, I will support her whole-heartedly!

During the lecture, I peered at her and I noticed that she was peering at me as well. At least, aL told me that she looked at our side once! This time, I was not that optimistic like last time. It was just a look, it meant nothing. Maybe she did it because she wanted to see me, or she wanted to know that who was peering at her, or perhaps she just wanted to know that am I okay?

Since the third rejection from her, I have changed my mind, I try my best to convince myself not to overly look seriously into her matters! Last time, the most frequent question I asked was "Had you had your dinner or lunch?". Do you know why I like to ask this question? This is because I am worried about her! Humans need to eat to survive, besides she depends on her friends to fetch her for dinner, so I am worried that she may get gastric! However, nowadays, I have never asked this kind of question anymore as I know that I need to let go before I suffer!

During half the way of the lecture, our lecturer Miss Ng Annie asked us that "what is the formula for gearing ratio? Debt over what?" I found that nobody answered her, so Anthony and I were so 默契, we scouted "is equity". Haha...everybody was staring at us and Miss Annie was smiling at us as well! Actually, I just wanted to attract my Princess's attention besides helping Miss Annie to answer this question to prevent 冷场!

At night, I read the newspaper, I found one interesting article regarding the zodiac! It stated that "谁恋爱常常失败", and Princess's zodiac was the first place. The explanation was as followed:"天秤座天生就喜欢不断地权衡，他们就喜欢一斤一两地去算。你给我一分，我还你一分。尤其是只要有过一次情伤之后，他们一定站在一个相对安全的位置。太理智，太冷静，冷得让人感觉不到他们的爱恨情仇。他们自己也很难享受到爱情中的乐趣，结果有时候爱情就在这种不放感情的平淡中渐渐冷却。"

This made me discovered that Princess was facing this situation as well. Maybe this is just my inference. If this is real, I just hope that Princess can let it go, there is no point for her to keep it inside and torture herself. I remembered that I had told her in which I am willing to help her to face this problem. I think it will be better if somebody is willing to assist you and be with you all the time. Unfortunately, my offer was rejected! It is okay.

In my opinion, we don't need to burden ourselves. We should let it go when the time arrives. In this case, Princess, Chuen and I is trying to let them go. However, there are a number of problems that others may face, so I just hope that everyone will let them go and live a happy life!

投降

今天凌晨，我又梦见Princess！但是，一切都是没有意义的！

昨天，我异常没心情的！连跟朋友们去打羽球也是一样！唉，这种情况甚至维持到现在！还记得上次我看Flame of Recca的漫画时，有一幕是Recca轻抚Princess的头的。当时，我真的觉得很幸福，因为我已把我和Princess当成是漫画里的男女主角！还有一幕是Princess吻Recca的！我甚至还憧憬着这一幕会发生在我的现实生活里！一切皆是幻影！这一幕根本不会发生，至少现在不会！

虽然我和Princess有一种难以言喻的默契，我们常穿情侣装！就好像最近一期的，我和Princess都是不约而同地同穿黑色衣服去考OHR。今天，aL及Kee告诉我，Princess又跟我穿情侣装，我们都是穿红色衣服！默契真是好得难以置信！不过，这一切都是没有用及毫无意义的！

郎有情，妹无意！继续纠缠下去，痛苦的只有我，甚至还会连累到Princess。这不是我的宗旨！记得我们刚认识时，我们的关系真是好得不得了！现在，留下的就只有回忆！我和Princess的第一次约会也将成为绝唱！我感觉到她对我的热情已经淡如水了！至少我不会再度收到她的forwarded messages与e-mails！从前，她会在出门去吃晚餐前于我们间的chat box里写"afk"或"bb"之类的字；现在呢？她会毫不犹豫地offline，连支会我一声都嫌麻烦！

爱一个人，并不是一定要拥有她。只要她幸福开心，我就满足了！与其让Princess觉得厌烦，倒不如现在就退出。至少，我们间的友情还可以继续，免得将来处处闪避及躲我！这只会增加她的痛苦！何必呢？

因此，我决定放弃了！我投降了！我不玩了！写到这里，心里不禁“酸”了起来！希望这一次会是最后一次吧！可惜是很可惜的，也感到无比的遗憾！但是，我爱莫能助！我并没有跟Princess一刀两断或绝交的意思，只是,我想，该是时候让我放下了吧！至于缘分，我相信它在我们间是存在的！Princess,我不会再烦妳了！如果，妳有任何难题，请别忘了我！我依然是妳的Ninja，无时无刻地守护着妳！不过，看见妳post给unknown friends的comments，我还是真替妳担心！妳真是太热情了！祝妳幸福！（这时，我才发现两行泪已经从我的眼袋里川行出来）