昨晚，我吃得很少，因为没有胃口，食物也乏味，世界是一片黑白的！我大概只睡了三个钟吧，就忍不住起床来写blog了。
辗转难眠了一整夜，心里是多么的空虚！以前，我做每一件事情，总是会以Princess为出发点，以她的利益为先，可以说是精心为她而设计的！现在，我不必再这么做了（虽然我很想），因为这份苦差，应该是属于她的boyfriend的！
为了Princess，我不惜牺牲睡眠时间，休息时间，心血，精神，学业。。。。。。但是，结果是怎样，我想大家应该也猜得到吧！值得吗？我不清楚，我只是知道这种东西是没得衡量的，是我自己心甘情愿的。当然，如果Princess点头的话，肯定是一笔再好不过的划算啦！
纵使我在听了Princess对她的boyfriend的感觉之后，我不赞成他们继续来往，不过既然这是她的选择，我只好尊重她，支持她！其实，我是正在“晒”大方，还是要让她得到教训，吃苦呢？我想两者应该都不是吧！一直以来，我从不敢做出伤害Princess的事，因为就像以前的posts所写的，我只要Princess快乐。只要她开心，我什么都ok的。因此，我之前所做的每一件事，为的只是要博红颜一笑！
昨晚，我给了我自己致命的一击！我不小心把我Multiply account里Princess的album给delete了!我把delete看成是edit!而且，我MP4里的照片都无法打开，真是祸不单行！这样一来，我连我们唯一的两张合照都没有了！我这次真是一无所有了！
现在，有两条路给我选--1）放弃。2）等！。要我放弃，我又放不下，我很舍不得！要我等，又浪费我的时间，届时只有吃干醋的份！所以，我应该选择哪条路呢？很矛盾！我记得大概是星期日的报章吧，有一篇很有意思的文章！“美国有一个德高望重的和尚，作者很荣幸，能够与他会谈。作者跟他聊起伤心事。和尚就叫作者拿着一桶水并把它举高，以这样的姿势继续与他交谈。过了几分钟，作者便觉得手酸了，于是下意识地把手放下。可是，和尚又叫他把手举高。又过了几分钟，作者忍无可忍了，和尚这时才叫他放下手。和尚说，手酸时，为什么你会放下手；但堆积在你心里的问题，烦恼等，为何又无法放下呢？”
我现在唯一能做的，就是祝福她与暗地里帮她。我不会再骚扰她，因为我不想留下坏印象，更不想拆散人家的姻缘，同时我也担心这样反而更让我放不下！很痛苦，泪不停地在心里流！就好比洪泉般的，一发不可收拾！更痛苦的是，我得在别人面前装作一副若无其事的样子！
现在，我终于明白为什么Princess总是不能答应我替她庆生的约会了。无所谓啦，我了解的！原本不惜血本，打算花费接近RM300的生日节目，现在已经化为乌有了！奇怪，可以省下一笔对我来说是不小的数目，我理应感到开心的呀！可是，事实并非如此！以前，我总会幻想或憧憬我跟Princess的美好时光，再从那里开始计划我们的未来。现在，看来都不必要了！哈林庾澄庆说得对，“计划赶不及变化”！
我需要时间。我需要时间来重新适应！没有Princess的日子，生活是如此的单调乏味，心灵也很空虚！可能，我应该回到自闭的状态，然后在那里找回我自己吧！
既然你已做出了选择，我只好接受。我只有三个要求：健康，快乐，幸福。只要你办到这三点，我会衷心地祝福妳！我不会再在第一时间出手帮你，因为这应该是你的boyfriend作的，我只会在最后一分钟才出手，届时希望不会太迟吧！我不会再出现在你的生活里，我会消失！最后，祝妳幸福，好运！
Rakuten.com Shopping
Thursday 25 June 2009
Wednesday 24 June 2009
END
I think, it's the time to come to an end now or it's time for me to relief myself!
Just now, I on my Friendster account. As usual, I viewed my Princess's account. I noticed that she had created a new account. I added her in her new account. However, I also found a few newly created albums in her old account.
I was delighted that I could see my Princess's parents in her new album. However, I am sad to see one of the new album, namely Mr.公, I thought it should be "Mr.Husband". I clicked to view the pictures inside. I felt breathless since I saw Princess stuck her face to the boy! I couldn't take it! I felt helpless!
Then, I saw Princess online. I immediately chatted with her. I congratulated her for having a boyfriend already! She replied me "yup, got liao"! So, this was no more my prediction, it's a truth! My Princess is real for this time, she is having a boyfriend already! Her current boyfriend is her ex-boyfriend.
She said she always argues with him, she also doesn't know how long will they last! I acted as middle-man to persuade my Princess. I wish they can last long! Stupid, isn't it? But I really did it!
She said one time, her boyfriend hanged out with his ex-girlfriend but he told my Princess that he was sleeping during that time! My Princess was very angry upon this and I even can feel that my Princess is angry at him until now. She said she can't trust him! Then I persuaded her that her boyfriend might be don't want to let her misunderstanding him! I also asked my Princess to forgive him if this was the first time! Haiz, stupid Recca again! Maybe Princess's happiness is my aim or objective to 发奋 all the time!
So, Princess had forgiven him already but she still feels that she can't trust him and even hate him. Then I asked what is the purpose to recover with him. She answered me that maybe she can't forget him! If this is the reason, then you shouldn't regret, Princess! In the end of our conversation, I 祝福 my Princess!
I don't know what am I doing! I already feel extremely dull and moodless but I still want to act as middle-man to solve her problems! What happened to me? I am crazy! After that, I chatted with my Tai Tailo, he convinced me. Thanks a lot, Tai Tailo. I felt better after chatting with you.
So, I have to accept it now. There is no point for me to keep sticking myself or my life to Princess. I wish her all the best! 虽然我老早前就做足心理准备，但是为何我还会这么放不下？舍不得？舍不得也得舍得！这是事实，我得接受！好像“奖门人”曾志伟所说的，舍得，就是要“舍”才会“得”！但是，说得易，做又会如何呢？
从今以后，我不会主动致电给她，sms她，从msn找她。我会试着放下，忘记她！祝福我吧！希望我能尽早办到！希望痛苦难捱的日记尽快成为过去式吧！Princess, 我衷心地祝福妳! You are still my Princess. This title will not be entitled to anyone else in the future because it belongs to you! No one can get this title from me! I won't disturb you anymore. I will keep the cheerful memories in my mind and thanks for giving those memories. Call me whenever you have problem! I will help you. You can call me to share your things as well no matter they are sad things or happy things. Try to share with me as I am a good listener!
Lastly, I wish you all the best and good luck! Don't forget to take good care of yourself and be careful all the time!
-----------------------------end of the show-------------------------------
Just now, I on my Friendster account. As usual, I viewed my Princess's account. I noticed that she had created a new account. I added her in her new account. However, I also found a few newly created albums in her old account.
I was delighted that I could see my Princess's parents in her new album. However, I am sad to see one of the new album, namely Mr.公, I thought it should be "Mr.Husband". I clicked to view the pictures inside. I felt breathless since I saw Princess stuck her face to the boy! I couldn't take it! I felt helpless!
Then, I saw Princess online. I immediately chatted with her. I congratulated her for having a boyfriend already! She replied me "yup, got liao"! So, this was no more my prediction, it's a truth! My Princess is real for this time, she is having a boyfriend already! Her current boyfriend is her ex-boyfriend.
She said she always argues with him, she also doesn't know how long will they last! I acted as middle-man to persuade my Princess. I wish they can last long! Stupid, isn't it? But I really did it!
She said one time, her boyfriend hanged out with his ex-girlfriend but he told my Princess that he was sleeping during that time! My Princess was very angry upon this and I even can feel that my Princess is angry at him until now. She said she can't trust him! Then I persuaded her that her boyfriend might be don't want to let her misunderstanding him! I also asked my Princess to forgive him if this was the first time! Haiz, stupid Recca again! Maybe Princess's happiness is my aim or objective to 发奋 all the time!
So, Princess had forgiven him already but she still feels that she can't trust him and even hate him. Then I asked what is the purpose to recover with him. She answered me that maybe she can't forget him! If this is the reason, then you shouldn't regret, Princess! In the end of our conversation, I 祝福 my Princess!
I don't know what am I doing! I already feel extremely dull and moodless but I still want to act as middle-man to solve her problems! What happened to me? I am crazy! After that, I chatted with my Tai Tailo, he convinced me. Thanks a lot, Tai Tailo. I felt better after chatting with you.
So, I have to accept it now. There is no point for me to keep sticking myself or my life to Princess. I wish her all the best! 虽然我老早前就做足心理准备，但是为何我还会这么放不下？舍不得？舍不得也得舍得！这是事实，我得接受！好像“奖门人”曾志伟所说的，舍得，就是要“舍”才会“得”！但是，说得易，做又会如何呢？
从今以后，我不会主动致电给她，sms她，从msn找她。我会试着放下，忘记她！祝福我吧！希望我能尽早办到！希望痛苦难捱的日记尽快成为过去式吧！Princess, 我衷心地祝福妳! You are still my Princess. This title will not be entitled to anyone else in the future because it belongs to you! No one can get this title from me! I won't disturb you anymore. I will keep the cheerful memories in my mind and thanks for giving those memories. Call me whenever you have problem! I will help you. You can call me to share your things as well no matter they are sad things or happy things. Try to share with me as I am a good listener!
Lastly, I wish you all the best and good luck! Don't forget to take good care of yourself and be careful all the time!
-----------------------------end of the show-------------------------------
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