Again

Just now, I on my Friendster account. I accidentally clicked to open the account of my Princess's boyfriend. Okay, now I know that he is 22 years old, no wonder Princess told me that he is working. He is from Kedah!

I clicked to view his picture. I noticed that Princess is totally different when she is with him. Her smile is so attractive and “放”, unlike the one with me. This is what I lose to her boyfriend! He can make my Princess happy but he is also the one who hurts my Princess the most! I hate him!

I didn't know why, I felt helpless and breathless when I viewed the pictures! My Princess is so beautiful and sweet in the pictures! Maybe I jealous or envy him! Then I viewed his public picture. What made me so angry was he still put his ex-girlfriend's pictures. I didn't mean that he couldn't do that but please don't put those hugging ones! This would hurt my Princess!

Again, I felt energyless! I was re-falling in love with my Princess again before I saw those pictures! I felt that the difference or distance between my Princess and me was narrowed recently but I can do nothing after seeing those pictures. Maybe I was too childish!

I don't hope that there is a hole in front of my Princess! What do I mean the hole? Interested? Okay, I tell you now. One day, I told Anthony that I was not so 看好 the relationship between my Princess and her boyfriend since I knew that he would lie her or hurt her! I told him that I know there is a hole in front of my Princess and Princess has two choices. One is keep going and fall into the hole and the other one is stop from there and move backwards! What I look for is the latter one.

Since I am not Princess, I can't make the choice for her. In fact, if I have the capacity to do so, I won't do that as well! This is because I'm too loving her! I don't want her regret later! Thereupon, I give her freedom to make her own choice. What can I do? I think many of you may think that I will pull her back when she is going to fall into the hole! No, I won't but this doesn't mean that I won't bother her anymore or let her be hurt! No, this is not what I want and what I wish to do! What I can do is, jump into the hole and be with her in case she is falling into the hole!

Right now, I really can do nothing. This Saturday will be the first day of my exam, I hope that I can get 4 flat this time as I get A's in my coursework for all the subjects but I also know that it is not easy! However, I am having bad mood now! Can I continue my revision in this mood? Last time I couldn't but I think I can handle it now!