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Friday, 3 April 2009

Let Go

Yesterday, I got the opportunity to have a lecture with my Princess. This was the first time for this semester! I really looked forward to it. However, I kept reminding myself that I shouldn't take this matter seriously! Yep, I tried to do it.

I thought I managed to do it but it became a reverie when my Princess got into the lecture hall. I couldn't control myself not to look at her! I noticed that her hair is truly long already. Frankly speaking, I prefer her to have last semester hair style than this one. However, it is nothing to me as it is her preference. I can't stop her to do that! No matter what she does, as long as it is legal, I will support her whole-heartedly!

During the lecture, I peered at her and I noticed that she was peering at me as well. At least, aL told me that she looked at our side once! This time, I was not that optimistic like last time. It was just a look, it meant nothing. Maybe she did it because she wanted to see me, or she wanted to know that who was peering at her, or perhaps she just wanted to know that am I okay?

Since the third rejection from her, I have changed my mind, I try my best to convince myself not to overly look seriously into her matters! Last time, the most frequent question I asked was "Had you had your dinner or lunch?". Do you know why I like to ask this question? This is because I am worried about her! Humans need to eat to survive, besides she depends on her friends to fetch her for dinner, so I am worried that she may get gastric! However, nowadays, I have never asked this kind of question anymore as I know that I need to let go before I suffer!

During half the way of the lecture, our lecturer Miss Ng Annie asked us that "what is the formula for gearing ratio? Debt over what?" I found that nobody answered her, so Anthony and I were so 默契, we scouted "is equity". Haha...everybody was staring at us and Miss Annie was smiling at us as well! Actually, I just wanted to attract my Princess's attention besides helping Miss Annie to answer this question to prevent 冷场!

At night, I read the newspaper, I found one interesting article regarding the zodiac! It stated that "谁恋爱常常失败", and Princess's zodiac was the first place. The explanation was as followed:"天秤座天生就喜欢不断地权衡,他们就喜欢一斤一两地去算。你给我一分,我还你一分。尤其是只要有过一次情伤之后,他们一定站在一个相对安全的位置。太理智,太冷静,冷得让人感觉不到他们的爱恨情仇。他们自己也很难享受到爱情中的乐趣,结果有时候爱情就在这种不放感情的平淡中渐渐冷却。"

This made me discovered that Princess was facing this situation as well. Maybe this is just my inference. If this is real, I just hope that Princess can let it go, there is no point for her to keep it inside and torture herself. I remembered that I had told her in which I am willing to help her to face this problem. I think it will be better if somebody is willing to assist you and be with you all the time. Unfortunately, my offer was rejected! It is okay.

In my opinion, we don't need to burden ourselves. We should let it go when the time arrives. In this case, Princess, Chuen and I is trying to let them go. However, there are a number of problems that others may face, so I just hope that everyone will let them go and live a happy life!

Tuesday, 31 March 2009

投降

今天凌晨,我又梦见Princess!但是,一切都是没有意义的!

昨天,我异常没心情的!连跟朋友们去打羽球也是一样!唉,这种情况甚至维持到现在!还记得上次我看Flame of Recca的漫画时,有一幕是Recca轻抚Princess的头的。当时,我真的觉得很幸福,因为我已把我和Princess当成是漫画里的男女主角!还有一幕是Princess吻Recca的!我甚至还憧憬着这一幕会发生在我的现实生活里!一切皆是幻影!这一幕根本不会发生,至少现在不会!

虽然我和Princess有一种难以言喻的默契,我们常穿情侣装!就好像最近一期的,我和Princess都是不约而同地同穿黑色衣服去考OHR。今天,aL及Kee告诉我,Princess又跟我穿情侣装,我们都是穿红色衣服!默契真是好得难以置信!不过,这一切都是没有用及毫无意义的!

郎有情,妹无意!继续纠缠下去,痛苦的只有我,甚至还会连累到Princess。这不是我的宗旨!记得我们刚认识时,我们的关系真是好得不得了!现在,留下的就只有回忆!我和Princess的第一次约会也将成为绝唱!我感觉到她对我的热情已经淡如水了!至少我不会再度收到她的forwarded messages与e-mails!从前,她会在出门去吃晚餐前于我们间的chat box里写"afk"或"bb"之类的字;现在呢?她会毫不犹豫地offline,连支会我一声都嫌麻烦!

爱一个人,并不是一定要拥有她。只要她幸福开心,我就满足了!与其让Princess觉得厌烦,倒不如现在就退出。至少,我们间的友情还可以继续,免得将来处处闪避及躲我!这只会增加她的痛苦!何必呢?

因此,我决定放弃了!我投降了!我不玩了!写到这里,心里不禁“酸”了起来!希望这一次会是最后一次吧!可惜是很可惜的,也感到无比的遗憾!但是,我爱莫能助!我并没有跟Princess一刀两断或绝交的意思,只是,我想,该是时候让我放下了吧!至于缘分,我相信它在我们间是存在的!Princess,我不会再烦妳了!如果,妳有任何难题,请别忘了我!我依然是妳的Ninja,无时无刻地守护着妳!不过,看见妳post给unknown friends的comments,我还是真替妳担心!妳真是太热情了!祝妳幸福!(这时,我才发现两行泪已经从我的眼袋里川行出来)

Thursday, 26 March 2009

Answerless

Today got OHR test, so I got the opportunity to meet my dearest Princess! I did it!

After the test, Anthony, Kee and me rush back as soon as possible since I wanted to on my personal computer so that I could chat with my Princess! She on her network around 6:45pm. Before she on, I didn't know why I would click to view her msn profile. What shocked me immediately was her newly uploaded picture! There is a male looks like hugging my Princess in the picture. Oh my god! I couldn't take it. I almost fainted!

When I saw my Princess on her msn, I chatted with her at once. I asked her about the test just now, she said she still okay with the test although she just did her revision for 3 hours! Then I asked her about the guy in her picture, luckily she said he is not her boy friend, the boy just stood behind him when the picture was taken! I felt relieving!

Suddenly, she asked me that what was I doing? I replied that I was chatting with her and I took up my guts, I asked her that might I chase her? She replied "har??? errrr". I was impatient that time, I asked her again "hw?". She said "err..........duno". When she replied me like this, I really happy since this meant that I got the chance! However, I wanted a clearer answer from her, I continued "haha, can or cannot?" She replied "y dun wan do fren?keke" This answer made me down again! I replied "erm, coz I cannot lie myself lo. I know I still love u, is very very love 1, so.........." She said "=.=,errr...." Silence for quite a moment! I gave her time to consider! After around 10 minutes, I wrote "errr........" This was with the purpose to urge her! Unfortunately, she off after that, she was out for dinner!

Erm, I think I know what her answer is! It is okay, I shall wait again!

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

振作

今早,我原本是很开心的,因为我梦见我的Princess。我想,可能是我太过担心她的缘故吧,因为昨晚下雨,Princess无法出外去吃晚餐,而我的毛遂自荐载她也遭遇她的拒绝,刚好这个星期她的同屋主又没有驾车来,而且她的饼干已经吃完了!唉,我想,等到雨停时,她也可以吃夜宵了吧,因为截至我睡觉时,雨还是没有停!

大概八点钟,我收到富贵的sms,他说他的哥哥刚过世!这么可能呢?他的哥哥顶多也是大我们十几岁,不过相信富贵也不会拿这个东西来开玩笑!这个消息把我的情绪给搞坏了,我变得很低落!我记得,富贵的爸爸去年中才刚刚去世,半年间,又第二宗,真是悲哀!根据思进告诉我的,他的哥哥是他们的经济支柱!现在,这么办呢?

富贵,你有任何事,就说吧,我办得到的一定帮你,不要客气!你要振作啊!

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

Anything I Can Help?

Just now, I saw Princess online and she stated herself as away. This was extremely weird as Princess had never stated her as away, she was more likely to state herself as busy or online! Okay, I didn't disturb her!

After a while, I view my friend list in msn messenger. I saw her personal message. "Breathless"! Oh my god, what happens? I insisted to find her despite of her away status! I asked her that did she have problem? Anything I can help? She said no. After that, silence... Until 8 something, she left! I think she is out for dinner!

Erm, actually this was nothing but her personal message really worried me! I just hope that she will tell me or perhaps ask me for help whenever possible! Bear in mind, I will always be there to assist you, Princess!

What A Lucky Day

Yesterday, my team won the first prize in an English competition! My team consisted of Anthony, Willy, Elaine, Kelvin and me. Actually, when Willy invited me to join his team for this English competition organized by LDDS from my college, I was frightened because of my poor English standard! For your information, my English is a "limited company"!

Luckily, my team members were outstanding. Other than this, this competition was just taken part by 3 teams, therefore, it made us easier to win this competition! Elaine and Kelvin were English literated! They almost grabbed all the points for our team and I, so embarrassed, I was the opposite, I almost didn't commit anything to my team! This competition was divided into 3 parts, spelling bee, NIE and guessing the lyrics of 3 English songs!Finally, we won, we got 62 marks which was 4 marks more than the runner-up. The prize was a headset for each member!

I want to thank Willy for inviting me in his team even though my role was just to fulfill the quota, haha...

Friday, 20 March 2009

珍重

刚刚从学院归来。奇怪了,为什么我要去学院呢?我星期五是假期的呀!哈哈。。。因为今天有Finance test嘛!这次的测验比我想象中的容易,我没有满分也有九十多吧!哈哈。。。尾巴翘了。。。

就在我要进考场时,我才看见Princess缓缓地走来。我也不等她,直接进入考场了!进了考场,坐好后,我便四处张望。你们知道为什么吗?知道?不知道?哈哈。。。因为我要找Princess,我想知道她坐哪?好让我靠近,顺便给她抄答案!哈哈。。。我一直往右后边望,因为入门是在右边。很可惜,我找不到她!直到测验完毕,我又翻去后面跟Johnson对答案(违例的),这时,我才发现Princess原来就坐在我的左手边后方!我开始瞄她,我想,她应该也看见我吧!我又跟Johnson有说有笑的,因为我要建立一个开朗的形象!不一会儿,Anitha叫我的班交测验纸了,我缓缓地站起来,又往后翻,好让Princess可以确切地看见我!我上前去交测验纸,顺道拿一分assignment问题纸。看见Johnson还没有拿,我就把我的那份给了他,自己再独个儿去拿过!希望这样可以给Princess一个良好的印象!这时,我们就走出考场了!就在回的路上,Anthony走得很慢,不知是否故意的。。。出了考场,我们就收拾书包,过后就回了。这时,Princess也在收拾东西,Anthony他们又走得特别慢,真是玩嘢!就在我们走过Princess身边时,Princess看见了我,我们打招呼,我还比了一个salute的手势,她对我笑!其实,这并不是我一直以来想好了的手势,不过,有Princess的笑容,已经值得了!

在距离校门旁的停车场,Princess割过我,还跟我说了一声"bye bye"。哇,做梦咩?我也很快地回她一声"bye bye"。这时,Princess就走在我的前方,我发现Princess留长发是漂亮了,不过我同时也发现Princess瘦了很多!不止是腰瘦,连身体也瘦了大概两三圈!这让我想起星期二时,Princess告诉我她的表哥下午时,自己去买了午餐而没有帮她买。Walao,这样的表哥也有!Eh,阿生,你只是载送我的Princess来回学院而已呀!很“巴弊”咩?这样不爽,不用载呀!我可以自己来!Princess还说,这已经不是第一次了!还好Princess自己有饼干吃,不然我一定宰了你!可是,吃饼干也不是长远的打算!我告诉Princess说,如果这种事再发生,就call我,我随传随到!就算我正在上课,我也会跑出来买食物给你吃!这个我保证!

Friday, 13 March 2009

我累了

是的,我真的累了!今天凌晨大约四点多,我的手机响。当然,我还是睡眼惺忪地起床去接,可是当我要接时,它就不响了。换作是别人,可能会在夜间关机或设定震动式,但我是永远都开机的!因为,我不曾在半夜接获“鬼来电”,而且我也已经答应Princess,我的手机是24小时为她on call!

自从Princess第一次sms我的那天起,我总是机不离手。我人到哪,手机就会到哪!而且,只要一收到sms或手机响,我便会一支箭地飞奔去接,因为我要第一时间回复Princess!

这几天,我不知怎么的,那种伤感又来了!连aL也察觉到,他说我比起上几个学期,我的笑容已经荡然无存了,我已不再开朗,不再那么活泼。我只淡淡地回他说我没有心情。可能是吧!我自己也不清楚!怎么会这样?那个结总是解不开!我分析过,可能是我不甘心吧!毕竟付出了这么多,换来的却是如此。虽然我口口声声地说即使得不到,我也要祝福Princess,但是我真的做到吗?我想,或许有55%吧!

我累了,我不要再背着这个包袱,我要做回我自己!可是,我要多久才能做得到呢?无人晓得,只有上天知道!现在这种状况不算最差,毕竟我们还是会交谈。但人总是不知足的。如果时间能倒流,我冀望我和Princess的关系可以维持像我表白前。一个像以前那样的关系但我又知道她的答案的状态!对,虽然我们还是会打招呼,交谈,但我总觉得我们之间已经不再像以前那么“放”,好像有戒备似的!

Sunday, 8 March 2009

Injury-hit--OKU

Aiya, I was injured yesterday and now, I am an OKU! I still played football in the rain yesterday, everything was okay in the beginning, unfortunately, I eventually was seriously damaged!

During that time, I was dribbling passing through Kin Oon but I exerted too much the force, then the ball left my position, therefore I ran as fast as possible to chase back the ball. Oops... I collided with the opponent. He was "flown away"! The first thing I did was to apologise. I said sorry to him, luckily he was not badly injured, he just had an injury on his hand.

After apologising to him, I realised that my left knee was painful and became "soft"(couldn't exert energy or force anymore). I sat on the field and I couldn't move my left leg. I struggled for pain! The first thing I thought was '糟了', then the next thing which came into my mind was 'Princess...我不能有事的'. What was related to Princess regarding my injury? I saw many people came to approach me and asked me whether I was okay? Wa... some of them were not my teammates and I even didn't recognise them! So touched! I stopped to play then.

On my way to go home, I found that my knee was very pain, I couldn't walk properly, I felt pain even when I wanted to change the gear of my motorcycle. When I was in my house, I found that I had a swollen knee! Oh my God! My knee now becomes one-half compared with the original one. I can't explain how painful it is! This makes me to understand how painful my grandma suffered before undergoing operation due to knee arthristic on both knees. I just feel pain on my left leg and this almost "kills" me. Thus, my grandma is really a tough guy!

This may take me a few weeks to be fully recovered! Sorry, Princess, I can't afford to protect you right now. However, I still will step out to help you in case you have difficulty.

Monday, 2 March 2009

Red Box

Yo,today is the beginning of new semester! I went to college and studied new subject-- Organisation and Human Resource. After the lecture, I checked my results at college computer lab with my friends. Unfortunately, I got A- for English for Communication and Bahasa Malaysia Lanjutan. Thus, my CGPA will drop!

After that, Anthony, Johnson, Ghandi and me went to Fettes Park to have a drink. Ghandi suddenly suggested that we could go Red Box. We all agreed. Red Box, I am not the first time to go there but this was my first time to sing at there! In fact, we were not singing, we were yelling! However, this was quite fun!

At night, Princess found me again. Yes, this was true, this was not a reverie! I was extremely excited since this could prove that she still considers me as her friend! I really appreciate it! Thanks a lot, Princess! I knew that she failed 1 subject-- Macroeconomics via our colloquy. Princess, if you face difficulties in this subject, you may find me, I certainly will help you! Don't feel shy, instead, please feel free to find me! Besides, I saw her picture on msn. She has a long hair now. Honestly, I prefer her to have a short hair like what she was in semester 1 and 2! However, frankly speaking, she is still pretty no matter she has a long or short hair as she is my Princess!

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